I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
