I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
