We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
