Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize