I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
