but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize