I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Can you bring me the toilet please
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
