Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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