it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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