I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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