We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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