i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
