i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I want a musical about memes.
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