im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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