oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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