I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
