So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
