There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
