Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
