Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Randomize