please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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