how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
