Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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