If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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