Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
