If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
