I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize