WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
