there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
