I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize