In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So many bounce houses so little time
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
