Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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