ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
