Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My nipple is on Facebook.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
