so that wasnt chicken after all
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
