end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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