Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
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He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
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Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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