I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
