we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
