Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible idea I love it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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