Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
