Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
