5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
false alarm, still single
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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