fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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