Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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