My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
