Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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