yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just high enough for therapy.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
