hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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