you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
