is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
