Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
