Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
