perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I touched a dick in church today
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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