i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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