Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
