afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
